Yes, continue to be a bigot

Third Way has done a good thing by reaching out to the evangelical community to assure them that new hate crimes legislation will not result in preachers being prosecuted for calling homosexual an abomination or saying that homosexuals will burn in Hell.

Because, no, we don't want to prosecute people for their beliefs or their speech, only actions that harm others.

However, I should point out what Third Way can't: if you think that homosexuality is an abomination and that homosexuals will go to Hell, you're a bigot. Thinking that something's in your religion doesn't make it right, unbigoted, moral or any less stupid than it is.

The Wandering Governor

Imagine this: Bill Clinton went missing for 5 days. His office lied about where he was. Hillary said she didn't know where he was. Some said out hiking. Some said just taking some time off. Some said they saw his SUV parked at the airport. Then he came back from Argentina and admitted to having had an affair.

I don't really care about Mark Sanford's private life.

But Bill Clinton got far worse treatment from the press, for far less a personal transgression.

Just sayin'.

... They Pull Me Back In

Apparently, like Lindsay Bluth Fünke, I only want what I don't have. I resigned myself to taking a sabbatical from the blog and then, about five minutes later, I found something that made me need to post.

The Pope thinks that using condoms will worsen the African AIDS epidemic.

In response, I have composed a rhetorically sophisticated, thoroughly researched open letter to His Holiness:

Dear Pope,

Screw You.

Without a condom.

Yours sincerely,

Jon E.

Sigh. Yay. Sigh.

So, um, the blog is on life support. If it weren't for a few conservative right-to-lifers keeping the hospital from pulling the plug, it might be dead.

But since it's still here, let me urge anybody still left reading to Google "Daily Show" and "Jim Cramer Unedited Interview." Jon Stewart does more for the integrity of financial reporting in America in fifteen minutes than CNBC did for a decade.

Also, he says, "Doucheboro." Nice.

Get the Tingle at Tingley

BitchinShit Productions (™, mofos, ™) is proud to announce:

Steel-Cage, No-Holds-Barred Grudge Match of Unemployed Titans:
Dick "The Dick" Cheney vs. Rod "The Rod" Blagojevich

Two Men Enter, One Man Keeps the Hair.

Tingley Coliseum
Albuquerque, NM
Tickets start at $40.

John Updike Dies at 76

This from Random House:

It is with great sadness that I report that John Updike died this morning at the age of 76, after a battle with lung cancer. He was one of our greatest writers, and he will be sorely missed.

JOHN UPDIKE
March 18, 1932 – January 27, 2009

My Secret Shame #285: Rod Blagojevich

I actually voted for that putz in 2006 even though his opponent was a biological human being with detectable brain function.

Sorry, Illinois.