Wednesday, August 10, 2005

Is Our Children Gaying?

Okay, here's the link. Check the link. The link proves that I am not making up the shite that I am cut and pasting below. Of course, if you just read the stuff below, you also get to see my answers to the seven signs that your child is gay (as told by James "I'm a moron and probably gay" Dobson, head of Focus on the "probably gay, but definitely undereducated" Family.

Helping Boys Become Men, and Girls Become Women

Is My Child Becoming Homosexual?


Before puberty, children aren’t normally heterosexual or homosexual. They’re definitely gender conscious. But young children are not sexual beings yet — unless something sexual in nature has interrupted their developmental phases.

THOSETHINGSWESAY: Stupid nature! Sorry, God!

Still, it’s not uncommon for children to experience gender confusion during the elementary school years. Dr. Joseph Nicolosi reports, “In one study of 60 effeminate boys ages 4 to 11, 98 percent of them engaged in cross-dressing, and 83 percent said they wished they had been born a girl.”

THOSETHINGSWESAY: Oh, you should have been in school the day that "Dr." Nicolosi conducted this study! The Principal's voice came on the PA system: "Attention sissies, attention sissies. We need 60 of you, and I know we have at least 60 at this dandy school, to report to my office at once! As you all know, there comes a time in every sissy's life when he must stand and be counted. Also, one lucky sissy will receive a $15 gift certificate to Express for Men.

Evidences of gender confusion or doubt in boys ages 5 to 11 may include:

1. A strong feeling that they are “different” from other boys.

THOSETHINGSWESAY: Can't be different from those other boys! Most of them, of course, are calling girls "icky" and eating paste. Any other behavior would be totally gay.

2. A tendency to cry easily, be less athletic, and dislike the roughhousing that other boys enjoy.

THOSETHINGSWESAY: Stop yer cryin'! Whattya mean you hate dodge ball? You go fight with those people! Don't you wanna have any friends? Well... if ya want friends, ya gotta punch 'em and stuff!

3. A persistent preference to play female roles in make-believe play.

THOSETHINGSWESAY: Actually, playing the girl during dress up is a smart and quick way to see the actual girls get undressed. To choose otherwise means seeing naked boys, which is totally... hetero, I guess, according to Focus on the Family..

4. A strong preference to spend time in the company of girls and participate in their games and other pastimes.

THOSETHINGSWESAY: If you're a boy... hanging out with girls is totally gay.

5. A susceptibility to be bullied by other boys, who may tease them unmercifully and call them “queer,” “fag” and “gay.”

THOSETHINGSWESAY: If bullies are saying your son is gay, chances are, they're saying you're gay too! Ya ain't gay, are ya? Are ya just gonna sit there while a buncha 7 year olds make generations of men in yer family gay? GETTAGUN!

6. A tendency to walk, talk, dress and even “think” effeminately.

THOSETHINGSWESAY: Even "think." See, cuz womens can't think, they can only "think." Us mens, we think without scare quotes. cf: women "voting."

7. A repeatedly stated desire to be — or insistence that he is — a girl.

THOSETHINGSWESAY: No I don't WANT to be a girl, it's just that you never bug my sister about her sexuality! What do you mean, you've never heard of Sappho?

If your child is experiencing several signs of gender confusion, professional help is available. It’s best to seek that help before your child reaches puberty.

THOSETHINGSWESAY: Life starts at conception. So does Gayosity.

“By the time the adolescent hormones kick in during early adolescence, a full-blown gender identity crisis threatens to overwhelm the teenager,” warns psychologist Dr. James Dobson. To compound the problem, many of these teens experience “great waves of guilt accompanied by secret fears of divine retribution.”

THOSETHINGSWESAY: Note that Dobson predicts that gay teens will experience "secret fears of divine retribution." Note also that the object of that retribution is not identified. It is possible that thinking teens will fear that God might smite parents idiotic enough to take James Dobson seriously. Rest easy, teens. God is neither merciful, nor an idiot. He will take his retribution on James Dobson, a man you care nothing about.

If your child has already reached puberty, change is difficult, but it’s not too late.

THOSETHINGSWESAY: They've made amazing strides with electroshocks! 50 years ago.


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