tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-75555022024-03-13T11:10:42.676-07:00ThosethingswesayMike M.http://www.blogger.com/profile/14716539792698477275noreply@blogger.comBlogger657125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7555502.post-39568561200591033522009-06-25T19:23:00.000-07:002009-06-25T19:26:16.667-07:00Yes, continue to be a bigotThird Way has done a good thing by reaching out to the evangelical community to assure them that new hate crimes legislation will not result in preachers being prosecuted for <a href="http://swampland.blogs.time.com/2009/06/25/hating-on-hate-crimes/#comments">calling homosexual an abomination or saying that homosexuals will burn in Hell</a>.<br /><br />Because, no, we don't want to prosecute people for their beliefs or their speech, only actions that harm others.<br /><br />However, I should point out what Third Way can't: if you think that homosexuality is an abomination and that homosexuals will go to Hell, you're a bigot. Thinking that something's in your religion doesn't make it right, unbigoted, moral or any less stupid than it is.Mike M.http://www.blogger.com/profile/14716539792698477275noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7555502.post-32924262916157594452009-06-24T19:26:00.000-07:002009-06-24T19:28:31.773-07:00The Wandering GovernorImagine this: Bill Clinton went missing for 5 days. His office lied about where he was. Hillary said she didn't know where he was. Some said out hiking. Some said just taking some time off. Some said they saw his SUV parked at the airport. Then he came back from Argentina and admitted to having had an affair.<br /><br />I don't really care about Mark Sanford's private life.<br /><br />But Bill Clinton got far worse treatment from the press, for far less a personal transgression.<br /><br />Just sayin'.Mike M.http://www.blogger.com/profile/14716539792698477275noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7555502.post-37482643645739884312009-03-17T12:46:00.000-07:002009-03-17T12:57:29.712-07:00... They Pull Me Back InApparently, like Lindsay Bluth Fünke, I only want what I don't have. I resigned myself to taking a sabbatical from the blog and then, about five minutes later, I found something that made me need to post.<br /><br /><a href="http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2009/mar/17/pope-africa-condoms-aids">The Pope thinks that using condoms will worsen the African AIDS epidemic</a>.<br /><br />In response, I have composed a rhetorically sophisticated, thoroughly researched open letter to His Holiness:<br /><br /><br /><blockquote>Dear Pope,<br /><br />Screw You.<br /><br />Without a condom.<br /><br />Yours sincerely,<br /><br />Jon E.</blockquote>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7555502.post-82339912861461703602009-03-13T18:24:00.000-07:002009-03-13T18:29:49.869-07:00Sigh. Yay. Sigh.So, um, the blog is on life support. If it weren't for a few conservative right-to-lifers keeping the hospital from pulling the plug, it might be dead.<br /><br />But since it's still here, let me urge anybody still left reading to Google "Daily Show" and "Jim Cramer Unedited Interview." Jon Stewart does more for the integrity of financial reporting in America in fifteen minutes than CNBC did for a decade.<br /><br />Also, he says, "Doucheboro." Nice.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7555502.post-85083862520121193932009-01-30T11:30:00.000-08:002009-01-30T11:39:53.300-08:00Get the Tingle at TingleyBitchinShit Productions (™, mofos, ™) is proud to announce:<br /><blockquote><span style="font-weight:bold;"><br />Steel-Cage, No-Holds-Barred Grudge Match of Unemployed Titans:<br />Dick "The Dick" Cheney vs. Rod "The Rod" Blagojevich</span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;"><span style="font-style:italic;">Two Men Enter, One Man Keeps the Hair.</span></span><br /></blockquote><br />Tingley Coliseum<br />Albuquerque, NM<br />Tickets start at $40.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7555502.post-81013328141986278892009-01-27T10:22:00.000-08:002009-01-27T10:23:21.477-08:00John Updike Dies at 76This from Random House:<br /><br />It is with great sadness that I report that John Updike died this morning at the age of 76, after a battle with lung cancer. He was one of our greatest writers, and he will be sorely missed.<br /><br />JOHN UPDIKE<br />March 18, 1932 – January 27, 2009Mike M.http://www.blogger.com/profile/14716539792698477275noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7555502.post-4596860172601590412009-01-26T16:01:00.000-08:002009-01-26T16:06:02.100-08:00My Secret Shame #285: Rod BlagojevichI actually voted for that putz in 2006 even though his opponent was a biological human being with detectable brain function.<br /><br />Sorry, Illinois.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7555502.post-19840522601389197662009-01-20T08:04:00.000-08:002009-01-20T08:05:33.476-08:00Welcome, President ObamaNice to have you.<br /><br />Please don't get tripped up when former President Bush lets the door hit him on his way out.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7555502.post-88480303463168247112009-01-16T23:25:00.000-08:002009-01-16T23:36:36.403-08:00Channeling David ReesSo I just got this rejection e-mail for a novel query, LOL. It's unchanged except for removal of proper names to protect the awesome:<br /><br /><blockquote>thank you for your query, but we are not interested.<br /><br />peace<br />firstname lastname<br />some agency<br /></blockquote><br />LOL, are they bringing the rejection pretty hard here or are they bringing it even harder? Is this rejection form more cutting edge than ginsu knives in space because they don't even capitalize and because they wish me peace after the literary equivalent of paying their little brother fifty cents to ignore me because they're too busy to do it themselves? LOL. Is the only thing better than form e-mail rejection a form e-mail rejection texted into a cell phone by a fourteen-year-old? LOL, this sure raises the dignity level for everybody involved to like the dignity penthouse of one of those super tall Shanghai skyscrapers of tomorrow.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7555502.post-38702651617348210222009-01-01T12:15:00.001-08:002009-01-01T12:15:45.523-08:00Oh thank God!That year is over.<br /><br />Do over!Mike M.http://www.blogger.com/profile/14716539792698477275noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7555502.post-8197955022415664752008-12-06T04:57:00.000-08:002008-12-06T05:01:26.106-08:00No Elected Officials?Last time I got to vote to elect local officials, I voted for Hillary Clinton as my Senator and Elliot Spitzer as governor. Spitzer resigned after having sex with a prostitute and was replaced by David Paterson. Clinton will be leaving her seat to become Secretary of State and Paterson will appoint her replacement.<br /><br />So, an unelected governor is going to appoint my senator? Worse, people think he's going to appoint Caroline Kennedy whose only qualification is that she was born a Kennedy. <br /><br />We need a special election.Mike M.http://www.blogger.com/profile/14716539792698477275noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7555502.post-71467001925187462532008-11-23T14:26:00.000-08:002008-11-23T20:15:26.605-08:00But I Don't Want to Own Citigroup!Some announcement on Citigroup expected tonight.<br /><br />Does. Not. Want.Mike M.http://www.blogger.com/profile/14716539792698477275noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7555502.post-80585702148933084792008-11-18T10:17:00.001-08:002008-11-18T10:21:03.270-08:00Filing LabelFile this under "How Far We've Come" or "How Messed Up America Can Be"? Both?<br /><br />I recently watched actual footage of an American soldier coming home to a USO dance after fighting in Europe.<br /><br />The soldier was Japanese-American.<br /><br />The USO hall was in his family's new neighborhood: a Japanese interment camp.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7555502.post-43124587760909521082008-11-15T18:15:00.000-08:002008-11-16T01:18:02.225-08:00Changes: It Seems Heaven-SentThis would've been more timely two weeks ago, but I've stopped pretending to myself that I'm either cutting-edge or quick on the draw.<span style="font-weight:bold;">*</span> <br /><br />Anyway, it wasn't too likely, but Tupac's "Changes" should've been the Obama theme song. <br /><br /><object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/HK3rj9Eodz0&hl=en&fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/HK3rj9Eodz0&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object><br />Kinda obvious why it wasn't, but it should've been. <br /><br />I'm not sure when he recorded it, but it was released posthumously, so maybe twelve or thirteen years ago. Anyway, Pandora popped it up just now for me, and I was struck how it sounds both outdated and painfully relevant at once:<blockquote>"Changes"<br />...<br />I see no changes wake up in the morning and I ask myself<br />Is life worth living? Should I blast myself?<br />...<br />We gotta start makin' changes,<br />Learn to see me as a brother instead of two distant strangers.<br />And that's how it's supposed to be—<br />How can the Devil take a brother if he's close to me?<br />I'd love to go back to when we played as kids,<br />But things changed, and that's the way it is...<br /><br />I see no changes all I see is racist faces.<br />Misplaced hate makes disgrace to races.<br />We under, I wonder what it takes to make this<br />One better place. Let's erase the waste,<br />Take the evil out the people they'll be acting right,<br />'Cause both black and white is smokin' crack tonight,<br />And only time we chill is when we kill each other.<br />It takes skill to be real, time to heal each other<br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">And although it seems heaven-sent<br />We ain't ready, to see a black President.</span><br />It ain't a secret, don't conceal the fact:<br />The penitentiary's packed, and it's filled with blacks.<br />But some things will never change...<br /><br />And still I see no changes can't a brother get a little peace<br />It's war on the streets & the war in the Middle East<br />Instead of war on poverty they got a war on drugs<br />So the police can bother me...<br /><br />It's time for us as a people to start makin' some changes.<br />Let's change the way we eat, let's change the way we live,<br />And let's change the way we treat each other.<br />You see the old way wasn't working so it's on us to do<br />what we gotta do, to survive.</blockquote><br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">-----<br />*</span> <span style="font-style:italic;">Or original. I just did a Google search and am shocked--shocked!--to discover that I'm not the first person to have had this thought. Whatever. Time-traveling plagiarism artists and other haters will not drag me down.</span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7555502.post-83712403376010501222008-11-10T00:17:00.000-08:002008-11-10T00:40:46.561-08:00It Intensifies Your Political Philosophy, ManI'm psychic.<br /><br />And remarkably good-looking, but the psychic part is more relevant here. On Friday, <a href="http://thosethingswesay.blogspot.com/2008/11/stop-saying-mandate.html">I responded</a> to Paul Krugman's ecstatic proclamations about Obama's "mandate" and how he'd won that mandate during a referendum on "political philosophies" that "the progressive philosophy won." I said:<br /><blockquote>In 2004, cultural conservatives misunderstood the significance of Bush's victory--they thought so many people voting (in part) out of fear of terrorism meant that the country was ready to return to 1948, only with better wiretapping technology. It wasn't. And this year, so many people voted (in part) out of fear for their pensions. That doesn't mean the country is salivating for the New New Deal. Voters in 1932 knew that the stakes were much higher; contrary to FDR's speeches, Depression-era voters had to fear not only fear but also starvation.</blockquote> And then today, Krugman wrote <a href="http://www.nytimes.com/2008/11/10/opinion/10krugman.html?hp">this</a>:<br /><blockquote>Barack Obama should learn from F.D.R.’s failures as well as from his achievements: the truth is that the New Deal wasn’t as successful in the short run as it was in the long run. And the reason for F.D.R.’s limited short-run success, which almost undid his whole program, was the fact that his economic policies were too cautious.... Obama’s chances of leading a new New Deal depend largely on whether his short-run economic plans are sufficiently bold. Progressives can only hope that he has the necessary audacity. </blockquote> Krugman, god bless, clearly hasn't slept since Tuesday. Near as I can figure it, since they called the election, he's been using America's maxed-out credit card to scrape transcontinental, Union Pacific rails out of a Montana-sized pile of powdered optimism.<br /><br />Get some sleep, dude. Barack Obama will still be President-elect when you wake up and come down.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7555502.post-22694485573149460962008-11-07T18:25:00.000-08:002008-11-07T19:43:47.460-08:00Stop Saying MandateThe Obama victory feels good. It really does. And it should.<br /><br />But let's not kid ourselves. Obama's election marks a shift in race relations in this country. It constitutes a small step back from the edge of a very deep crevasse of self-destructive stupidity. Lovely, the both of them.<br /><br />But it wasn't a mandate. The only mandate worth talking about in this election is the mandate in California, Arizona, and Florida that now legally cannot turn into a manmarriage. (In California, at least, we can thank some Obama voters for helping make that civil rights triumph possible. Swell work, fellas.)<br /><br />Because they illustrate the point better than talking and because I'll never get tired of their odd beauty, here again are <a href="http://www-personal.umich.edu/~mejn/election/2008/">Mark Newman's cartograms</a>:<br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">2008</span><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_LcUtwtfGRPI/SRT7pJWBMbI/AAAAAAAAADk/bDVqH9MXEmY/s1600-h/2008+cartogram.png"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 200px; height: 135px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_LcUtwtfGRPI/SRT7pJWBMbI/AAAAAAAAADk/bDVqH9MXEmY/s200/2008+cartogram.png" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5266110548604432818" /></a><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">2004</span><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_LcUtwtfGRPI/SRT76c7CDnI/AAAAAAAAADs/HU6-HOp6M70/s1600-h/2004+cartogram.png"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 200px; height: 128px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_LcUtwtfGRPI/SRT76c7CDnI/AAAAAAAAADs/HU6-HOp6M70/s200/2004+cartogram.png" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5266110845917728370" /></a><br />The 2008 map is notably bluer, but parts of it are redder and a whole lot of it is still purple. So let's not allow the the electoral college numbers to blind us. Obama only won about 53% of the popular vote. Admittedly, unlike Bush's party in 2004, Obama's party in 2008 picked up a lot of seats. But even there they still hold no more than 60% of seats in the House and Senate. Tidy gains, but hardly transformational. So talking about Obama's "mandate" is only fractionally less silly than all the wishful conservative talk of Bush's 2004 mandate, when he barely cleared 50% of the popular vote.<br /><br />Of course, that's not stopping <a href="http://www.nytimes.com/2008/11/07/opinion/07krugman.html">Paul Krugman</a> from imagining that America has suddenly turned into the Netherlands:<br /><blockquote>Anyone who doubts that we’ve had a major political realignment should look at what’s happened to Congress... Since [the 2004 elections], Democrats have won back-to-back victories... [and] now have bigger majorities in both houses than the G.O.P. ever achieved in its 12-year reign.</blockquote><br />And, since in American political punditry, one can only get a mandate after holding a referendum, Krugman says that progressivism won that referendum:<br /><blockquote>Bear in mind, also, that this year’s presidential election was a clear referendum on political philosophies — and the progressive philosophy won.</blockquote><br />Now, there were a bunch of ballot initiatives in California, so maybe I missed it, but I don't remember that particular referendum. In 2004, cultural conservatives misunderstood the significance of Bush's victory--they thought so many people voting (in part) out of fear of terrorism meant that the country was ready to return to 1948, only with better wiretapping technology. It wasn't. And this year, so many people voted (in part) out of fear for their pensions. That doesn't mean the country is salivating for the New New Deal. Voters in 1932 knew that the stakes were much higher; contrary to FDR's speeches, Depression-era voters had to fear not only fear but also starvation.<br /><br />We may get to starvation, but we probably won't, precisely because we elected Obama when we did. A little competence and accountability might be enough to turn things around, which means it might be enough for most voters. Of cousre, after the past eight years, a little competence and accountability almost seems like too much to ask.<br /><br />After dancing his mandate jig, Krugman goes on to argue that Obama should seize his chance to help rebuild the America's infrastructure and social safety nets. Well, amen to that. But let's not imagine that'll be a snap for him.<br /><br />The last thing we need three months from now is a bunch of unrealistic lefties sniping at Obama for not unveiling a National Recovery Act on inauguration day. The damage done over the past eight years will require some bold action, but it will first require some careful analysis and then some skilled politicking to get that bold action through the Congress. I'm not saying that we should stand on the sidelines uncritically waving pompoms for Obama, but I am saying we shouldn't act like those drunk, moronic fans who get red in the face because their team has a game plan that acknowledges the presence of the other team and of complicating factors like gravity and friction.<br /><br />Oh, and an afterthought: I'm not sure that <span style="font-style:italic;">any</span> candidate in America has ever gotten a true mandate from "the American people." For a long time, only a small percentage of the population could vote freely. And once most of the adult population could vote, many people simply didn't bother--and still don't. This year, despite the record voter turnout, almost as many voting-age adults in America didn't vote (about 100 million) as did (about 122 million). If anybody had a mandate in this election, it was None of the Above, continuing decades of strong showing for the Apathy and Alienation Party.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7555502.post-32070251451790391822008-11-06T11:30:00.000-08:002008-11-06T11:43:05.721-08:00American Rorschach<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_LcUtwtfGRPI/SRNIJl2KTiI/AAAAAAAAADc/B2pSrihcuT4/s1600-h/Population-shaded.png"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 295px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_LcUtwtfGRPI/SRNIJl2KTiI/AAAAAAAAADc/B2pSrihcuT4/s400/Population-shaded.png" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5265631718941543970" /></a><br /><br /><br /><span style="font-style:italic;">For an explanation see comments or go <a href="http://www-personal.umich.edu/~mejn/election/2008/">here</a>.</span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7555502.post-78242486462838623362008-11-05T17:49:00.000-08:002008-11-05T18:24:14.119-08:00I'm Opposed to Gay MarriageSo Prop. 8 passed in California. The legal challenges will no doubt clog up the courts for a while, but Prop. 8 is definitely a short-term blow to gay marriage in CA and the US in general.<br /><br />I've <a href="http://thosethingswesay.blogspot.com/2006/08/polly-wants-parent.html">argued this at length </a>(<span style="font-style:italic;">length!</span>) before, but the ridiculous arguments for Prop. 8 have reinforced for me that I'm opposed to gay marriage--at least if by gay marriage we mean the government's solemnizing the sacred union of two people of the same sex. That's because I'm opposed to <span style="font-style:italic;">all</span> such marriage.<br /><br />People opposed to same-sex unions haven't noticed it yet, but marriage as a civil institution of the sort it used to be 150 years ago is already defunct. They're defending the shell of corpse. And may it molder in peace--we don't need to resurrect an institution designed in large part to relegate women to a second-class citizenship in which they couldn't own property, vote, or work outside the home (unless poor).<br /><br />Civil unions can fulfill some of the duties of civil marriage (creating a legal framework for dealing with property and child-rearing), and I'm fine with that. Civil unions for all.<br /><br />But the sort of marriage that most of the Yes on 8 voters defended yesterday had nothing to do with civil unions. Those voters were defending a religious covenant. And the wisdom of the First Amendment should guide us on this one: if marriage is a religious sacrament, then the government should stay the hell away from it, not enshrine it in a state or federal constitution.<br /><br />Sure, as long the government continues to arrogate to itself the right to affirm the marriages of straight people, gay people should get the same treatment. But at this point that's like the government giving permission to Catholics to pray to Mary since it already gives Protestants the right to pray to Jesus. Not the government's job.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7555502.post-1805769712450957862008-11-04T21:20:00.001-08:002008-11-04T21:20:45.484-08:00Hell, YeahThat's much, much better, isn't it?Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7555502.post-52947231467572112122008-11-04T08:56:00.000-08:002008-11-04T08:58:09.792-08:00Why You're Voting for ObamaIt's not just what he'll have to do, <a href="http://www.nytimes.com/2008/11/04/opinion/04tue1.html?_r=1&hp&oref=slogin">it's what he'll have to undo.</a><br /><br />Pollward, people. Pollward!Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7555502.post-18658181747552496362008-10-28T10:22:00.000-07:002008-10-28T10:35:33.734-07:00Synchrodestiny, BitchesYet another tip of the hat to David Rees, who cheered me up this morning and gave me an excuse to take the "Bradley Effect" off the top of the blog:<br /><br />On election night, Rees was depressed. You may remember it--realizing that all it took for Bush & co. to stay in office while treating America and American ideals with contempt was to tell Americans how much he loved them and how much everybody else hated them. "You know how you're always regaining consciousness in the gutter with some liberal standing over you, asking if you're okay, trying to help you stand? Pretty suspicious, huh? That liberal probably put you there, dontcha think? Now me, I would never do that. Me, I'm standing innocent as can be directly above you, up there on the penthouse balcony with the broken guardrail. And I've waving as compassionately as hell with the hand not grasping your wallet and the college degree your kids will never get."<br /><br />So, in his devastation, Rees wrote a <a href="http://www.mnftiu.cc/2008/10/28/chin-up-four-years-later/">piece of inspirational prose</a> and credited it to Deepak Chopra:<br /> <blockquote> CHIN UP.<br /> We’re smarter than those motherfuckers.<br /> We can learn more quickly than those motherfuckers.<br /> We can be more ruthless than those motherfuckers.<br /> We can be some six-million-dollar motherfuckers ourselves.<br /><br /><br /> Chin up.<br /> We’re more American than those motherfuckers.<br /> We’re more responsible than those motherfuckers.<br /> We’re more compassionate than those motherfuckers.<br /> Hell, our atheists are more Christian than their Bible-thumpin’ motherfuckers.<br /><br /><br /> There’s an election in two years.<br /> There’s nothing we can’t do.<br /><br /><br /> Chin up.<br /> Because it’s on, motherfuckers.<br /> It is on. </blockquote><br />Now go canvas & call voters, you American motherfuckers.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7555502.post-60039838531276650552008-10-19T10:14:00.000-07:002008-10-19T10:34:09.090-07:00The Bradley Effect & Other Fears to Scare You at NightThe Bradley Effect is a term coined by scholar Charles Henry in his effort to explain why LA Mayor Tom Bradley was polling so well during the 1982 California gubernatorial race yet lost the actual election. Bradley, Henry concluded, was getting misleading information from the polls because he was black and because some white voters were really uncomfortable with two things: 1) voting for a black guy and 2) <span style="font-style:italic;">admitting</span> they were uncomfortable with voting for a black guy. <br /><br />So be encouraged by the latest polls, but don't let them make you complacent.<br /><br />If you're not doing so already, an activity with a relatively high utility to awkwardness ratio is calling voters in swing states. You can sign up at <a href="http://www.mybarackobama.com">My Barack Obama</a> (worst political website nickname winner for 2008: myBO.com), which has a good system and relatively painless script for calling voters. You can do it in small chunks of spare time if necessary. I've been calling Ohio, and I don't think I've convinced anybody to vote for McCain.<br /><br />If you actually live in a swing state, you have more choices. Knocking on doors is a big one. Helping the local Democrats organize voter turnout is another. Just do something practical.<br /><br />Let's not give them any reason to rename it the Obama Effect.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7555502.post-39264652715349764132008-10-17T17:27:00.001-07:002008-10-17T17:30:43.634-07:00Some of these People May Know How to Work a Voting Machine......so vote and call undecided voters. Knock on some doors if your state is at all up for grabs.<br /><br /><br />Link to <a href="http://www.doonesbury.com/strip/blowback/palin-family-values.html">the dumbery</a>.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7555502.post-37217444726641277242008-10-16T17:08:00.000-07:002008-10-16T17:41:28.864-07:00It's Even More Impressive...So I was going to write post entitled, "STFU About Joe the Plumber." But that was pretty much all I had, so I was stuck on what to write about.<br /><br />Then this came along:<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_LcUtwtfGRPI/SPfYOld1tSI/AAAAAAAAACU/npNGNUnzQjo/s1600-h/racistcrap.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_LcUtwtfGRPI/SPfYOld1tSI/AAAAAAAAACU/npNGNUnzQjo/s320/racistcrap.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5257908835065378082" /></a>This charming image comes courtesy of Diane Fidele, President of Chaffey Community Republican Women, a San Bernadino group not far from my new hometown. Fidele mailed it out to about two hundred people, including some of the group's members.<br /><br />Sure, the image does call food stamps "Obamabucks." Sure, it does have a picture of Obama superimposed on a cartoon donkey at its center. Sure, it shows Obama surrounded by Kool-Aid, ribs, and watermelon. Sure it's a festival of racist stereotypes.<br /><br />But that doesn't mean it's racist. As Fidele told a local newspaper: "I never connected. It was just food to me. It didn't mean anything else."<br /><br />I can see that. <br /><br />I mean you wouldn't believe the flak I got from those panty-bunchers over at the Chinese-American Citizens Alliance when I launched my new drycleaning business two years ago: Chinky Slanteyes' SuperStarch Laundry--"We Wash You Rong Time!" Apparently, that's some kind of obscure ethnic slur. And I guess they weren't too happy with these really great pictures I had of buck-toothed coolies with huge ponytails. Just because I used canary yellow for the skin color or something.<br /><br />Anyway, that killed my promising business. I hope things turn out fine for poor Fidele. Sounds like an honest mistake.<br /><br />------<br /><span style="font-style:italic;">It's impressive that Fidele managed to Photoshop this without taking off her hood, but it's even more impressive she did it with her hooded head crammed that far up her colon.<br /></span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7555502.post-21487565118208194782008-10-14T13:21:00.000-07:002008-10-14T14:13:25.328-07:00You Keep Going, Girl!In all the hurly-burly of America's best political and economic year ever, let's not forget about the lonely struggles of loyal reader Sarah P. of Wasilla, Alaska, who continues to be pestered by haters who are all like "ethics, laws, blah, blah, blah" when she's all like "Obama, terrorist, nig-- uh, terrorist, America, rah, rah, rah!"<br /><br />America needs more rah-rah and less blah-blah, my friends. More rah, less blah. That's change you can trust.<br /><br />Anyhow, the legal midgets in the Alaska Senate concluded that Sarah P. broke state ethics law by trying to get some guy fired just because he was like a <span style="font-style:italic;">total</span> douche-cob to her sister Molly. First, like why even be governor if you can't shitcan guys who divorce your sister? Second, haven't people in Alaska heard about the <a href="http://thosethingswesay.blogspot.com/2008/09/amateur-legal-advice-for-corrupt.html">"tainted investigation" defense</a>, in which a defendant must be found innocent if he or she says that the prosecutor doesn't love him or her enough to be objective?<br /><br />Fortunately, Sarah P. and her crack legal team know have been able to fall back on the "Nuh Uh" defense. The Nuh Uh defense was established by landmark Fantasy Court decisions in <span style="font-style:italic;">Bush v. National Intelligence Estimate</span> and <span style="font-style:italic;">Bush v. Climate Change</span>, in which Fantasy Court judges ruled that official or legal findings must be declared null and void if the person inconvenienced by them pinky-swears that those findings seriously didn't happen and then refuses to talk about the findings ever again (starts about 1:20):<br /><br /><embed FlashVars='videoId=187616' src='http://www.thedailyshow.com/sitewide/video_player/view/default/swf.jhtml' quality='high' bgcolor='#cccccc' width='332' height='316' name='comedy_central_player' align='middle' allowScriptAccess='always' allownetworking='external' type='application/x-shockwave-flash' pluginspage='http://www.macromedia.com/go/getflashplayer'></embed><br /><br />As always, we'll keep you updated like all get-out on this one, America.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0