Powell Not Attending Republican Convention

Rewritten from AP/MSNBC! We make up what they won't tell you!

Colin Powell will skip GOP convention
The Associated Press
Updated: 10:42 a.m. ET Aug. 10, 2004

WASHINGTON - Secretary of State Colin Powell, a Republican centrist who is popular with moderate voters, intends to skip the GOP convention in New York that will nominate President Bush for a second term.

“The secretary plans to wash his hair that night,” State Department deputy spokesman Adam Ereli said Tuesday. He drew attention to Powell’s remarks last week at a convention of minority journalists that he was obliged as secretary not to take part in “parochial debate with a bunch of idiots who got us into a quagmire in Iraq even though I kept telling them not to.”

The Republicans gather for the four-day convention beginning Aug. 30. Powell said the whole thing seemed "Kind of gay. Not that there's anything wrong with that."

With Bush in a close race against Democratic nominee John Kerry, Powell’s stature with both Republicans and Democrats who favor a cautious approach to world problems could be an asset to the president. But, actually, it won't be since Bush has ignored Powell's advice for four years now.

In fact, Powell has defended Bush’s foreign policy in interviews and speeches, further destroying his credibility and sense of self worth.

Powell told the Unity: Journalists of Color Convention last Thursday that Bush took his advice to “not act unilaterally” and "told him to shove it up his ass."

Yet Powell also acknowledged, “The intelligence community apparently got it wrong on stockpiles of weapons of mass destruction. I do not expect huge stockpiles to be found. And, in fact, I never did. I only agreed to say I did in the hopes that Bush would let me, an actual soldier with comabt experience, run the war instead of thatr idiot Rumsfeld. I was totally duped.”

He said Bush officials knew that if “the United Nations ultimately did not act, and we didn’t solve it diplomatically, we knew then that it might be necessary for us to solve it through the use of military force. Only problem is, I didn't know we were talking about Iraq. I thought we were talking about the 2000 election. Guess I got that coup wrong!”

Powell’s differences with Bush and his senior advisers who are more conservative occasionally is an issue, "I hate those lame-brains," Powell said. Powell favors abortion rights, affirmative action and not going to war with every oil producing country in the world.